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Better Brand Names (what they should be called)

Generally speaking, brand names seem to fit the product that they’re attached to. Think Ragu spaghetti sauce. “That’s Italian!” Remember the tag line?

The word “ragu” evokes memories of family meals and Italian nights at home. In fact “ragu” actually means a sauce for pasta. The brand, Ragu, fit’s the product well.

But sometimes a brand name just doesn’t fit.

For those of you that use artificial sweeteners in your coffee, you’ve likely used either the blue packet (aspartame) or the pink packet (saccharin). Equal, manufactured by Merisant US, makes both types of sweeteners.

The leading zero calorie sweeteners are based on one of four primary substances — aspartame, sucralose, saccharin or stevia — and packages are color-coded to make them easy to identify: blue, yellow, pink and green respectively.Food Service Director, August 30, 2010

While I can understand wanting to keep the brand name Equal associated with the pink packet, in this case it just doesn’t work. According to the Equal website, it’s called Equal Saccharin (it’s usually not a good idea to put chemical names in a brand). The name on Amazon fares slightly better with Equal Sugar Substitute.

"Pinkqual" or pink Equal artificial sweetener

So lets combine the two primary words into a something that works.

“Attention Merisant, I propose a new brand name for pink Equal:”


“You can use the name if you wish, but you’ll have to buy the domain from TuxBoy.”

Now… what to do with bacon flavored soy bits? You know, imitation bacon bits or fake bacon.

"Facon" or fake bacon bits

I propose something a little more creative and descriptive of what it actually is. It’s not fake bacon, it’s…


And that my friends, is enough imagination for one day.

All product names, logos, brands, and trademarks on this page are property of their respective owners.


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